Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just invented taco cereal.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
