i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
