I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
