yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
