Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
