this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His hands were made for my vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
