Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
