six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
