No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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