Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
