we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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