I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
