She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
