did you get engaged???
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
