So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
