maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
