I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think people are normalizing furries
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
