I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
