Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
