Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
