I want to make a zoo with you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
