GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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