My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
