kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So many bounce houses so little time
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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