Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
