Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
