we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
