windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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