I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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