Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
