I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
