someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
