tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
