im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I want to be your penis for a week.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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