I hope mine doesn't look like that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
