white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
