do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
