D3 body, D1 cock
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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