im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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