I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My dick has a subreddit
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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