I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
