i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
