Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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