I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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