Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
