No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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