Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
