i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
