should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
