Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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