I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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