brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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