this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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