So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
