I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
