I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
