So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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